The Bunchionary will, from time to time, take the opportunity to honor the heroes among us, those that go the extra mile for our county. Today, the Bunchionary honors the great singer and songwriter Neil Diamond. Even if it was his only song, his hit song "America" qualifies him for for a Flagophile award. I challenge every reader of this post to attend a rodeo and watch a brave man skydive into the rodeo arena while trailing an American flag while "America" blares over the PA system. I doubt any of you will be able to hold back the tears of joy. In fact, it is hard enough to hold back the tears while listening to "America" on the 4th of July, parked in a field, drinking Strawberry Hill, and blowing up old TV sets left in the field by a less-heroic American.
"America" is not, however, Diamond's only great American song. Take "Forever in Blue Jeans" for example. What could be more American than Levi's? Don't forget "You Don't Bring Me Flowers." Diamond is a friend of the free market system and in favor of commerce. Last but not least, there is "Brother Love." With the exception of Strawberry Hill, explosives, and rodeo, few things are more American than traveling evangelists.
So congratulations Neil Diamond. Congratulations on winning the Bunchionary's first Flagophile Award.
* The entire Bunchionary Staff voted on the award and the vote for Mr. Diamond was almost unanimous. Also receiving votes were Kirk Cameron and Kenny Rogers.
5 comments:
I would like to congratuate the Bunchionary staff on honoring a great American who represents the ideals of this great country. It is truly astounding that an entertainer of such liberal slant could produce such Republican sweetness. In other words, Mr. Diamond is truly one of the world's finest crossover artists. Again, congrats to the Bunchionary staff on its inaugural Flagophile awards. Next year I do hope Kirk Cameron might be able to attain the vote necessary to be honored with a Flagophile....he is so deserving.....provided you disregard his Canadian heritage.
The Bunchionary Staff's American Recognition Committee does not discriminate based on national origin or any other criteria. The Committee especially love people from Canada, eh.
Perhaps, with so many worthy Canadians, perhaps we could offer a Maple Leaf Flagophile Award.
The Flagophile Award to King Diamond reminds me of a summer's night several years ago in upstate New York at a Six Flags Amusement Park just outside Rochester, an area unfamiliar with rodeo but full of flagophiles. It was dusk on the 4th of July, thousands of park visitors hundled around an ampitheater located just east of the Superman rollercoaster. The visitors knew a laser light show commemorating the nation's birthday would begin at any moment, but the scope of which was unknown. As a hush fell over the crowd and the lasers began to dance overhead, a song began to play unlike any other. It was a song that brought up emotions from depths unknown. It was King Diamond's "America". As I looked around the crowd, there were smiles, cheering, hands waving, but there were those with tears of patriotic emotion streaming down their cheeks. As I looked towards my then-girlfriend, the welled up tears began to flow. At that moment, all I could think about was how King Diamond must have magical powers. Is he the real father of our country? The man who is "forever in blue jeans" is forever in America's consciousness and hearts. Long live the Diamond!
Note - Then-girlfriend also cried like a little school girl when Mike Seaver's friend Bonner went away to college in that classic episode of Growing Pains. Surely Bonner doesn't have the same emotional tug as King Diamond? Could it be she cried at everything vaguely emotional? Or were they simply tears to get her boyfriend to do "whatever" she wanted. Hhhmmmmm!
The Bunchionary Staff wishes to apologize to our readers regarding yan's use of the words "Bonner" and "emotional tug" in his prior comment. Any explicit reading of those terms is purely accidental.
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